Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Twins

Sunday, April 22, 2007

LOCT TOUT translated for you:

(Locked Out)

Eye woe cup thet mourn ning n sud n lee reel eyes die wuzz herein garr bedge ter uks kum n. Weehed jess moove din aphee u daize urlee ur. Eyejumt toutovebedd n sed lowe dilly " O! JEENGITUPP!

(I woke up that morning and suddenly realized I was hearing garbage trucks coming. We had just moved in a few days earlier. I jumped out of bed and said loudly "OH! GENE GET UP!)

Weet ravel led dowe n thest eps ez fess ez hourlit telleggs wood kairree uss. Ween eed ed 2 git argar bedge 2 theecur bonthyme b 4 theeter uks wynta bie.

(We traveled down the steps as fast as our little legs would carry us. We needed to get our garbage to the curb on time before the trucks went by.)

N are hays tweeslemmed thahdough r 2 are howze b hine dus. Weewur loct tout n nokee 2 gitbakin.

(In our haste we slammed the door to our house behind us. We were locked out and no key to get back in.)

Heerweewurr! Eyewuzz n a skym pee nyetee (ittwuzz code ou 2) n hub beeze fawst eeth wursit n n agg lassups tares n arb eth. Twuzza taws sup ez 2 witchwunofus wuzzgo n 2 anay burr 4 hell pand....a cuppahotcaughee hoe phully. Eye wuzz lukkee. Eyegott toost a bek n syttinakar n cuh earl upp wytha dallblain kit n tr eye toost a wore ma.

(Here we were! I was in a skimpy nighty (it was cold out too) and hubby's false teeth were sitting in a glass upstairs in our bath. It was a toss up as to which one of us was going to a neighbor for help and.....a cup of hot coffee, hopefully. I was lucky. I got to stay back and sit in a car and curl up with a doll blanket and try to to stay warm.)

Poo ur hubb ee! Hee hed toog oh 2 anay burr 2 thell es lye ka hilb ill ee.

(Poor hubby! He had to go to a neighbor toothless as a hillbilly.)

When this happened, we were already empty nesters. So there was no one inside the house to let us back in.

It was the door leading into the house from the garage that we slammed behind us without thinking,...without remembering that it was going to lock us out automatically if we closed it, because we had pushed that little button on the doorknob the night before to lock it.

My husband called a locksmith on the neighbor's phone and brought back two cups of hot coffee. We could have waited in the neighbor's house for the locksmith to arrive. But I have an aversion to people seeing me in a nighty with my hair all a mess and no makeup on. I'd rather freeze to death!

For some reason, there was a doll blanket (must have belonged to one of the grandchildren) in the car that I used in an effort to stay warm...a lost cause. As it turned out, we were back into our house in short order anyway.

After that, we made sure we had an extra house key hidden outside somewhere.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Norton's gift to me was a
Stiffer than a board
Frozen to the core
Dead as a doornail


That's what she dropped in my coat pocket one night years ago as I sat on the back steps of the old farmhouse.